How Biblical Love Prevails Over Hurt

Trying to go through life ignoring your heart’s hurts is like living in self-imposed bondage. But biblical love prevails over hurt. Here’s how. [This is from the How Biblical Love Prevails Series]

When I was a teenager, I spent a long day at the pool in a lounge chair with a gripping novel. I lost track of time and had to hurry home to get ready for church. Before the service, people nearby started looking at me with a myriad of odd expressions. Puzzled, and a little bit embarrassed by the staring, I learned that my body looked like a lobster. I didn’t feel sunburned at the pool, but it didn’t take much longer before the heat and pain were evident.

The next couple of days were spent in agony, frequently applying a thick coating of aloe gel mixed with lotion on my red, raw, tender skin. The aloe was needed to help with speedy healing, and the lotion to aid in preventing peeling skin. While the milky concoction relieved pain by cooling the burn, the sticky mixture was uncomfortable. Any clothing touching the magic mixture became wet, cold, and then almost stuck to my skin when it dried. Additionally, the burn made it difficult to sit or lay comfortably. 

I’d complain while I sat on the edge of a chair, stiffly waiting while it absorbed. The heat of the burn made the rest of me feel cold. I hated feeling cold. I couldn’t do anything or sit anywhere while waiting for it to “dry.” Additionally, the natural healing process was itchy. I was miserable through the whole ordeal before my new skin appeared.

Rejection can be like the sun bearing down on our vulnerable hearts. At first, we may not realize we are hurt, but before long our heart is raw and blistering. It’s painful. The healing process is uncomfortable. 

But trying to go through life ignoring your heart’s hurts is like living in self-imposed bondage. If you never apply the first aid of God’s love, you will deal with a great deal more pain.

How Biblical Love Prevails Over Hurt Is Two-Fold

Paul suffered shipwrecks and so much more. While we probably haven’t had to endure the same types of trouble, we can relate to suffering because it is a part of life. Similarly, we can relate to wounds inflicted by others. 

The truth that biblical love prevails over hurt is two-fold. First, love equals forgiveness. God forgives because He loves. 

For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. Psalm 86:5 ESV

And Ephesians 5:1 (NKJV) says to, “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.” What are we imitating? Whenever the word therefore is in a verse, you need to look before it to see what it is “there for.” The chapter before it begins and ends with instructions about forgiveness. That’s the second part.

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2 NLT

The problem is, sometimes we are distracted by our pain and we don’t focus on forgiveness. But before we’re done, I’m going to show you how healing and forgiving can be done at the same time.

Rejection Pits

Remember the story of Daniel and the lion’s den? Daniel’s offenders threw him into a pit. They refused his God, tricked him because they didn’t agree with his values, and planned to take away his life. What rejection! 

Your scheming enemy, the devil, digs rejection pits for you. His plan is that you’ll stay in an early “grave,” and live without seeking healing from hurt. But biblical love prevails over hurt, and through it, God resurrects your heart into His abundant life (John 10:10). 

Are you heartbroken? He keeps our hearts from bursting where we can’t keep it together and administers His healing virtue. The following verse is a promise, and He always follows through on His promises. (He can relate to your hurt because Jesus dealt with rejection, too!) 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 ESV 

You will climb out of a rejection pit through the choice to love. (More explanation of that in a  fictional picture of me learning how to heal from hurt from my post: How to Be Healed from Hurt: A Triple-Braided Rope.)

5 A’s to Be Healed from Hurt

Here’s how you can forgive and see healing from hurt at the same time:

Acknowledge your hurt and ask God to heal your heart. Hurts come in all forms: broken friendships, separation and divorce, abuse, etc. Being hurt isn’t a sin but an indicator that you need healing from God. That’s why asking God to heal your heart is important. This prayer, based on His promise in Psalm 147:3, means that you are coming to the One who can heal even your deepest hurt.

Accept the offender for who he is—a creation of God, too. It’s so easy to forget this when that person’s faults and sins against you are forefront in your mind. That’s why this is a deliberate step. Saying it out loud is an act of biblical love that prevails over hurt. When doing this it helps me to remember that “love covers all sins” (Proverbs 10:12).

Announce to yourself, God, and the devil that you forgive the offender. My biggest hold up with forgiveness used to be that I wasn’t ready or I wasn’t feeling it yet. God showed me it’s simple: do it out of obedience. The sweet result of that is that my feelings followed suit. Even if it took a couple times of announcing that forgiveness.

Abandon sin areas. This is imperative for seeing how biblical love prevails over hurt. Address how it made you feel when that person hurt you and take the time to deal with your heart. Repent of whatever God shows you. If you’re getting stuck on this one, see how to overcome weaknesses with a plan of action.

Apply wisdom. Navigating relationships can be tricky, but God promises that He will give you an abundance of wisdom if you only ask (James 1:5). You might need to apologize. Or Moving forward might mean you sever a relationship (e.g. an abusive relationship where your life is in danger). God is all about reconciliation, and He will walk you through each step.

What If You Remember the Hurt?

If painful thoughts return or feelings of anger/hate crop up, announce again to yourself, God, and the devil that you forgive the offender. If you don’t, bitterness will take root.

Remembering old emotional wounds without associated pain is a lot like looking at a scar. A scar can be a reminder, not that you were once hurt, but that you are healed. That’s when you can remember God has healed you!

Biblical love is necessary to complete that list above. Sometimes it will take the Spirit of God abiding in you to see it through. That’s when you see His love growing stronger in your life. 

“…if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.” 1 John 4:12 NASB 

How have you seen biblical love prevail over hurt in your life?

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