How to Have Humble Confidence by Melissa Gendreau
In my years of working with children and then having my own, I see patterns that occur in certain personality traits.
Most often in my office I work with children who struggle with self-esteem and self-worth issues. Because of their struggles I get to hear all of their wonderful accomplishments. They seek my approval so they want to showcase everything that is ‘good’ about them. Even the most gruff child wants my to hear my, “Good job! That’s awesome! You’re so…”
This was me to a T when I was little! I felt the need to share my good works so that others could pat me on the back. But then I was met with the concept of bragging. Unfortunately, somewhere I confused bragging and confidence. I believed the lie that the two were the same and both were bad. Yet I still desired the accolades to fill my worth. And that lead to shame.
As I got older but still new in my faith, the concept of humility furthered my struggle with confidence. I didn’t know or understand how the two could co-exist.
I sought to follow God’s desire for me and to take His words to heart.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4 (NASB)
Again, however, my desire to experience worth would push out humility and lead to bragging once more.
As this disparity weighed heavy on my heart I prayed for understanding. To grasp where I had gone wrong and how to please God but not struggle with emptiness at the same time.
Honestly, part of the answer came to me in the dictionary. I looked up the word confidence. The primary definition that I had come to understand was a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
But I found another definition, the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
Friends, that was my struggle, I was searching for a truth about myself that I wasn’t feeling certain of.
I needed to fully grasp God’s love for me and my importance to Him!
I would be lying if I said I had immediate transformation. It took years for me to allow God’s truth to resonate with me. To know that I was good enough for God’s love and to be confident in that truth. I believed it for others and even counseled them to know their worth through His love!
I can be so dense sometimes!
But God is persistent in His pursuit of us! Over the years His words that I have read time and time again have hit me anew when I have been ready to receive them. And each time it broke down lies that I had believed. In its place confidence has grown.
This knowledge has helped me to understand humility more fully as well.
You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.Truly, truly, I say to you, a slave is not greater than his master, nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them. John 13:13-17 (NASB)
I love working with children and adults who exude this humble confidence. They don’t need my accolades. They are ready and willing to care for and serve others because they know who they are in God’s eyes. Their need for my therapy supports is often short lived. They tend to only need a reminder in who loves them. Whose child they are. And a few extra tips on how to endure whatever life situation is being thrown their way.
I pray that each of us strives for this humble confidence as we carry the truth of our worth in God’s love.
The truth is, humility and confidence can co-exist. #Thrive @humfaithfamwell Click To Tweet
Melissa is a Christian mental health therapist, wife and mommy of two pretty neat kids. She loves providing others with practical tips on how to have a closer relationship with God. When Melissa is not working or writing, she enjoys movie night and homemade popcorn with her family. You can read more of Melissa’s articles on her site humblefaithfamilywellness.com
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Yes! I’ve been studying the same principles lately! Beautiful encouragment! Blessings to you both!
Blessings to you as well, friend! Thanks for stopping by!
I’ve struggled my whole life to be confident in who God made me to be. I’ve worried that being confident would look like arrogance and pride to others. I love the words humble confidence because it shows we can be confident in our purpose without arrogance. Thank you for such a great post!
Yes, I love the balance Melissa brought out here! Be blessed, Valerie!
“They are ready and willing to care for and serve others because they know who they are in God’s eyes.” So few people actually know how valued they are, and this leads to so many problems!
Such a true statement Susan! When people don’t know or understand their value they are willing to engage and participate in activities far away from God’s desired path. Thank you for reading and commenting! God bless!
I’ve lived my life needing to speak my accomplishments, so this humble confidence is a new thing to me. Being raised without unconditional love, having this type of love from God has been hard to grasp! I pray I grasp this concept more fully as I grow in faith!
You are worth our Heavenly Father’s love because you are His! That’s an amazing truth to let seep in! And sometimes so hard to wrap our head’s around. I pray grasp this concept more fully, too! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Knowing we’re seen by Him, can make all the difference, can’t it? It seems cliche, until the truth of its hope touches your world. Lovely post, Melissa. Thank you for sharing, and — nice to meet you. 🙂 Thanks for sharing Melissa with us today, Kelly. xoxo
Thank you for your kind words, Brenda. Yes, understanding our individual worth to God evokes and overwhelming sense of peace and joy at the same time! Thank you again for stopping by and sharing. God Bless!
This is a confidence I strive to fully grasp daily. It is a continual journey for me, seeing my true worth and value through Christ’s love for me. Such a great post Melissa. Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!!
I think this is a continual process for all of us Lureta. The more I seek a relationship with Christ and delve into the Word the more I am able to fight back against negative thoughts and false truths that I have believed about myself. The more I am able to refute these, the more connected I feel I am able to be with Him. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your thoughts. God bless!
Melissa, I love that you shared the differences between bragging, confidence and humility. There are times when it is a very fine line. Then there are those of us who struggled from a very young age at feeling confident at anything, let alone did we brag. Ha, ha. But God woo’s us all to the exact place He wants us to be. I love that about Him. He takes us all on, one at a time. Thanks for sharing. – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
It can certainly feel like a fine line and even a blurred line when we are attempting to build our own self-worth. When I focus on my positive attributes through the lens of God’s gifts I am able to feel more assured because of Him. It then becomes a much larger difference between bragging and confidence. I also love that God woos us in very personal ways specific to each of us. Such an overwhelmingly lovely thought! Thank you for stopping by and commenting! God bless!