Dear Moms You Are Qualified

Moms have you ever wondered if you are qualified to do the job of being a mother?

I have, too. And I have four kids.

Being pregnant for the fourth time didn’t change anything. Doubts added to the weight I already carried around. Reclining on my left side, I wondered:

Can I do this again?

What if she grows up to hate me?

Do I know how to train her to be discreet?

Will we make it to the hospital on time?

Am I going to die? I mean, I feel like I’m dying now.

What I really wondered is:

Am I qualified to have another kid? Does God really trust me with this?

Qualified or Not, Labor Comes

With each of my three prior deliveries, I had precipitous labor. That’s the technical term for a labor under three hours. That’s Domino’s-Pizza-delivery fast.

It’s a blessing and a curse. A blessing because your labor is short and a curse because subsequent labors usually keep the pattern of being shorter than each preceding one.

Knowing this made for an anxious pregnancy and countdown to baby’s arrival:  

4:00am. Strong contractions woke me. They came every four or five minutes. Waking my family before knowing “this is it” seemed foolish, so I waited around to see if they got longer, stronger, and closer together.

4:35am. Contractions were now every three minutes, the bleeding came, and I was sure. I was also sure I wanted this baby out of me and wasted no time contacting my family and getting ready to leave. Except I could barely move. We’re talking powerful pain. Contractions lasted almost two minutes before the next one hit. So that left about a minute to move—like a snail.

Why did I wait so long?

5:10am. We finally pulled out of the driveway. My husband, determined that I would not have the baby in the car, (safely) ran red lights. I gripped the door handle.

We need green lights, God! And don’t let us crash!

5:19am. My water broke, but we were only halfway there. All the other times when my water broke I was at *eight* centimeters.

We are running behind schedule! We should be at the hospital by now!

5:27am. I tried to will away the urge to push during the last two contractions before we pulled up to the birthing center.

No! No babies born in the car! Please?

Join me at Surviving Toddlerhood to read the rest of the story and receive some encouragement! See you there!

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