How to Find Freedom from Fear of Singleness

Would you like to find freedom from fear of singleness? Join GG Mack who’s been there and learned how to find freedom from fear of living single. Read on for Day 9 in the What Freedom in Christ Looks Like Online Event by the Blogger Voices Network, hosted right here at KellyRBaker.com.

GG Mack is the founder of God’s Gals, an online business that teaches busy women how to put God first in their lives, through Christian Women’s Wellness Retreats and a membership site, the God’s Gals Tribe. She is married to an amazing man, Michael, and lives in Ormond Beach, Florida with their precious furbaby, Lucky. It is GG’s goal to help women worldwide to learn that anyone can make time for God daily, even in an incredibly busy life. 

Are you putting singleness before God?

I had just hit the big ‘4-0’ and was devastated. Why was I STILL single? I constantly questioned: what was wrong with me? Was I doing something wrong? Why was I meeting ALL the wrong men? This became a daily prayer of mine and I do mean DAILY!

Why Being Single Consumed Me

I used to call myself a professional single – not a title I was proud of, but the truth, unfortunately. When you’re in your 40’s and still single, you begin to doubt your self-worth. I can bet there are lots of singles out there that can relate, am I right or am I right???

Allow me to lay the groundwork for you. I have been a Christian since a young age. Grew up in the Baptist church; a good Sunday-school going girl! But never truly knew one could have a relationship with Christ until I was in my 20’s. I was always the “good girl”, did what was right, but didn’t have a strong faith. Now that I look back on it, the Holy Spirit in me has been guiding me all along to do the right thing, and I just didn’t know it was Him!

When I was in my 20’s and out of college, I found a wonderful, upbeat, contemporary modern worship service (I bet you know this pastor…Andy Stanley) that I just fell in love with. I never knew church could be fun, the message could mean something, and the music could be fabulous and even the singles groups were regular peeps, just like me. This is where I re-dedicated my life to Christ and learned all about a relationship with our true King!

When I was in my 40’s, it was increasingly difficult to watch everyone around me getting married and finding what looked to me like the perfect relationships. I was feeling desperate. This was causing me to go from one really long, bad relationship to another. And settling way too much. I found myself making excuses and allowing myself to settle with non-believers, something I now know should have been my non-negotiable. You’ve just got to read: Are you with “The One?”

Here I am, a strong Christian woman who just wants to find a Godly man; why can’t I?

I had hit my 40’s and been burned by too many men and with nowhere else to turn. So, what did I do? I prayed and prayed like crazy. Here’s where the problem with that lies…all I was praying about was for God to find me a man!  That was my main focus, nothing else.   

How Do We Find Freedom From Fear Of Singleness?

Newsflash!!!  It’s time to STOP just praying for a man! God wants to be number one in our lives! He wants us to put Him first.   

I am sure so many of you single ladies can relate to praying over and over again for a man and that’s NOT wrong!  BUT, we have to put God first for this to happen. Of course, you can pray for your future husband, but it can’t be your main focus – God has to be!  

I realize that the lovely lady reading this may not be single, but this doesn’t have to be just about the fear of singleness or desiring marriage, it could be about anything (any “idols”) you’re putting before God. Is it your marriage? Finances? Job? Business? Kids? Anything at all can be an idol if we put it before God.

I realized that “singleness” was the idol I put before Him.  

You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, or any likeness of what is in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the water under the earth. You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me. Exodus 20:3-5 NAS

All I was thinking about day and night was being single, so of course, I was putting that before my Lord and Savior.  As I sat there in reflection, I realized that I was actively feeling down on myself for still being alone and just stumbling from one bad relationship to another. This moping was not doing anything to benefit my situation nor to help me feel good about myself.  I was making myself feel worse by dwelling on what I thought was a shortcoming in me as a woman. I became conscious of how my negative thinking was working against any progress of me becoming truly fulfilled with my life. 

It was then that I received a message that I was looking for satisfaction in the wrong place. I was turning to relationships with mortal men when I should be building my relationship foundation from within God as my rock.  I felt God tell me that if I didn’t put Him first, I would never find that perfect man He has picked out for me. WHOA! That hit hard!  But He was right, as He always is.

Right then and there, I made a decision to start every morning with God.  

Yes, I had read devotionals, yes, I had done many Bible studies, but never made it a priority to start everyday with Him.  Never truly put Him first! But I must admit, a bit clueless as to how to do this.  

For I am the Lord, your God, who upholds your right hand, who says to you, “Do not fear, I will help you.” Isaiah 41:13 NAS

That verse in Isaiah became my true-life verse. No matter what I go through or am struggling with in life, I can always turn to Him and fear not!  God will always hold onto our hand and guide us every step of the way.   

Freedom From Fear Of Singleness Comes from Putting God First

How do you start with putting God first?

I decided to take action and do something that I had never done before. I made the decision that I was going to read the whole Bible. By reading the Bible, I felt that I would understand the Lord more, and I was truly hoping it would draw me closer to Him.

I felt that this is what God was asking of me, to truly understand His Word. Knowing Him as many ways as I was capable of understanding would lead me to an understanding of what He wanted for me. This was a moment of insight for me. It was time for me to develop a stronger relationship with Him to discover the true me. Only then could any future relationship with anyone else succeed. If I was not where God wanted me spiritually, how could I be the best version of myself for the right man? Looking back, he was there with me the whole time but I never would have noticed if I had remained in my way, blocking my view of Him. 

Even though during that time I still had desires to have a partner in my life, it did not consume every thought. Those thoughts were becoming weaker and less frequent than they had been before I started focusing on God.  But, good news, I did find my husband, about one year after I began this new process of daily time with God!!!  

I can promise you this, but putting Him first every day, your life will begin to transform in an amazing way! I created something special for you! A Morning Routine Guide that will get your started on your journey to daily time with Him. Grab your 7 Steps to a Life Changing Morning Routine here!  

I’d love to hear from you about your journey.  Are you single? How is it affecting your life?  Is there another idol in your life that is preventing you from putting God first? How can I pray for you?

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