How to Find Freedom from Self-Hatred: 4 Truths to Practice Instead

Are you beating yourself up? Learn how to find freedom from self-hatred in this post. Niques Francois shares four truths to practice instead. Read on for Day 2 in the What Freedom in Christ Looks Like Online Event by the Blogger Voices Network, hosted right here at KellyRBaker.com.


Niques Francois is a high school teacher by profession, a part-time writer and a full-time Christian woman. At 15 years old, God called her and placed a burning desire in my heart to serve him. She is a trained Bible study teacher, a youth ministry leader and she has been writing devotionals ever since 2007. She is passionate about using her talents to spread the good news of the gospel and to encourage others to live a Christ-centered, purposed filled life. You can find her devotions at her blog https://mydailydevotion.online.


How to Find Freedom from Self-Hatred

It was very difficult for me to come to terms with what my therapist said. “You need to stop beating up yourself, give yourself a break.” She insisted. Honestly, it didn’t dawn upon me until then that my overachieving, don’t stop attitude was part of the cause of my long-term problems with my mental health. It had reached so far that I began to believe the negative things I constantly told myself. I was teaching myself to hate myself. I was actively practicing self-deprecation. I needed freedom from self-hatred. 

You see, I had become so used to not being good enough. I grew up with a strict mother (God bless her soul), who reminded me that I wasn’t good enough and I needed to try harder.  This encouragement led me to always push myself for the best. I always strive to be number one in anything that I do and put my best foot forward. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to strive for excellence but persistent thoughts of not being good enough almost drove me to insanity. 

My self-hatred thoughts began when I was a teenager and matured with me into adulthood. Even though I attended church every week, it was still difficult for me to accept God’s love for me, and I believed that I had to earn it. I became an active member at my local church, serving in various ministries, going on mission trips and giving Bible studies but still the thought that ‘nothing would be good enough for God’ persisted. 

My Misguided Motivation

When I began my high school teaching career, I quickly became a workaholic. I gave multiple extra lessons to students, gave up all my lessons plans days before the deadline and spent hours in the lab coming up with new cool experiments for my students. When I made mistakes, I found it difficult to forgive myself; all because I was striving to be the best teacher there ever was. And although my passion was valid my motivation came from a place of self-deprecation and self-hatred. 

I would constantly tell myself:

“You’re not good enough, and you’ll never be good enough.”

“You have to work so hard because you don’t deserve to have a job.”

“You have to get this right, or else you will always be a failure.”

Over and over I told myself these things and pushed myself so hard that eventually, I crashed. I overworked myself so much that I had a full mental breakdown which landed me in Dr. Rogers office. The first thing she told me was that my self-hatred had become so bad that it was causing my stress level to increase. I needed to give myself a break and break free from negative thoughts. 

So Valuable to God…

Jesus proclaims in Luke 7:12 “But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.” (KJV) 

Do you know that you are valuable to God? It was hard for me to wrap my mind around that fact because for so long, I didn’t see value in myself. I believed that value and love had to be earned. But God’s love is freely given. He says in Jeremiah 31:3, “The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” (KJV)

We do not have to work for God’s love. He loves us regardless of what we do and we are valuable in His eyes. So much so, that our Heavenly Father sent his son Jesus Christ to die in our place so that we could gain everlasting life (John 3:16). 

Getting Freedom from Self-hatred

It was the enemy’s plan to trap me in a cycle of self-hatred. To make me believe that I would never be good enough for God. But it was God’s plan through my breakdown to show me just how much He loved and cared for me. I began to place my talents and my time in God’s hands. I learned how to be patient with myself when I made mistakes because God is patient with me.  

My freedom came when I began to see myself as God sees me. Through scripture, I came up with a mantra that I repeat any time I feel negative thoughts seeping back in. Four truths that God wants me to know: 

  • You are Blessed- Psalm 41:2
  • You are Chosen-1 Peter 2:9  
  • You are Loved- Jeremiah 31:3
  • You have a Purpose- Jeremiah 29:11

There are many reasons why you may fall into the trap of self-hatred. Maybe you stress about your weight, or maybe you think that you aren’t pretty enough. But Jesus wants you to know that He accepts you just as you are, you don’t have to prove anything to Him. 

Are you beating yourself up? Learn how to find freedom from self-hatred in this post. @NiquesTheGreat #BloggerVoicesNetwork #FruitOfFreedom Click to Tweet

Free Devotional Guide

Through daily devotion and prayer, I was able to break free from the entrapment of self-hatred, but it wasn’t easy. I learned to spend quality time with God and grow my relationship with Him. Are you ready to do the same? Here’s a free Devotional Guide ebook! I used these tools and tips to help me have a more meaningful devotion time with God and I know it will help you too. 

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2 Comments

  1. Such a great testimony and encouragement! I think one of the greatest struggle today ist with “being not enough”. But God has a better way of self-perception and living for us. Thank you for sharing how you gained freedom from self-hatred!

    1. kellyrbaker says:

      I love Niques’ testimony as well! Sometimes we just need God’s perception, right? So blessed by you, Hadassah!

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