How to Find Renewed Love in Your Marriage

Do you need to find renewed love in your marriage? When you live with someone for a long time, the mundane of life can dull the excitement in the relationship.

How to Find Renewed Love in Marriage.

Maybe there’s nothing special happening between you and your husband because the love has fallen flat. Or perhaps it’s not that drastic, but it seems like every interaction is the same-old-same-old.

In this post, I’m sharing a few keys that you may not have considered to help you find renewed love in your marriage.

The goal is to renew the spark that existed back when you first fell in love. This could have been when you first met or when you were dating or courting. This is the spark you need for renewed love.

When I fell in love with my husband before I married him, there was more in action than just a lack of familiarity from not knowing each other very long. Three key factors were the underlying drive that gave ignition to a healthy spark of love.

These keys will help you renew that spark of love in your relationship with your spouse.

RELATED: 5 Little Foxes That Damage a Marriage

Try These 3 Keys to Find Renewed Love in Your Marriage

Try These 3 Keys to Find Renewed Love in Your Marriage.

At the beginning of our relationship, when we had just met, I remembered I viewed him in a fresh way. Everything was new. Just because today that newness is “gone” doesn’t mean I can’t apply the same factors today.

First Key: There was no prior history of hurt between us.

Then

That was in our favor because rejection rejects. At one point I allowed resentment from past hurts to drive a huge wedge in our relationship. The pain drove my mindset, feeling, and actions.

RELATED: Walking with God Through Brave Reconciliation

Now

God led me to put Proverbs 10:12 into action, and make the choice to let love cover all his offenses. Doing that gave me a 180-degree change in perspective. The thing about God’s love is that it’s powerful; it healed my heart from those hurts, and I noticed the spark of falling in love began!

Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions. Proverbs 10:12 NASB

The word all there truly means all, little nitpicky foxes included. That blanket of love covered where I was majoring on minor issues as well. What freedom it brings to cover love with every tiny infraction or annoyance and see the frustration fade away!

Second Key: I wanted to win him.

Then

That meant I fixed up everyday, making sure I looked good, just in case he showed up. The long-lashed looks at other guys ceased. I was a bona fide flirt with only him.

Now

Are you deliberately trying to win your mate today? The other day my husband caught me staring at him, and he got embarrassed. It was too fun and that brought a loving moment that warmed up the relationship even more. What can you do to win your man?

I tried to discover his likes.

Then

The best way to entice him to spend time with me was to suggest we do something he liked to do. My goal was to make him happy. It takes a selflessness (I’m still working on this!), but keep the goal to find renewed love in your marriage in mind. When you sow selflessness with him, in time you will reap selflessness from him.

Now

You can also implement this with what you serve for food, what you wear, and what hairstyle you adopt. I’m not saying to throw out everything you want, just be open to serve him an egg quiche on Valentine’s Day even if you have to eat something else for breakfast. I earned big points for that one. 😉

Philippians 2:4 (ESV) says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” How can you look to his interests?

Is the spark gone or the love flat in your #marriage? Try these three keys to find renewed love in your marriage. #LiveYielded Click To Tweet

Outrageous in a Good Way

Before I was married, my mom gave me a book on being a wife that raised my eyebrows. Sorry, I don’t remember the title, but what the author did stuck with me. The wife dressed in a different, sometimes outrageous, outfit every day. When her husband came home from work, he was met at the door with a flirty, provocatively dressed wife. Needless to say, he couldn’t wait to come home to his ravishing wife!

Do what you can that will hook his heart. Get his attention in a God-honoring way. Pray and ask God to give you specific ideas and follow through.

Prayer and applying the wisdom of the Word will help ideal conditions develop between the two of you. A spark can ignite a fire if the conditions are right. Once those conditions are met, and the spark of love renews fervency between you, continue to fan the flame by keeping these three keys in mind.

What ideas do you have to help find renewed love in your marriage?


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15 Comments

  1. Great suggestions, Kelly! No matter how long we’re married, we need to be reminded of these things often. Without diligence in these areas, it’s so easy to slide into apathetic going-through-the-motions.

    1. kellyrbaker says:

      Yes, we really do need to be intentional with what matters to us. Thanks, Jana!

  2. Marriage is a work and being indifferent can cause a lot of strife. I love all the points you mentions especially being outrageous in a God honoring way

    1. kellyrbaker says:

      Yes, marriage is hard work. But just like planting a garden, we will eventually see our harvest. Thanks for stopping by, Diana!

  3. This was great Kelly! You have given some wonderful ideas. One thing that I have been trying to do better at is fix myself up during the day. Working from home now, I have to admit, I just want to stay in my yoga pants and T-shirt. So I am trying to put more of an effort into how I look when my husband comes home. Thanks so much for sharing!

    1. kellyrbaker says:

      Yes, it takes intentionality when we are working from home to fix up for our man. That’s one I’ve been watching for as well. Glad you enjoyed the post, Angela!

  4. I’m a big fan of remembering where it all began to help fan the flames in an old fire! Great post, friend! Blessings!

    1. kellyrbaker says:

      Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

  5. What great ideas! You made me laugh with the quiche . . . I haven’t made lasagna in a long time and it’s definitely a labor of love! Great timing with Valentine’s Day next week 😉

    1. kellyrbaker says:

      Not a fan of lasagna either, but my husband likes it a lot. Hmm, you’ve given me an idea for next year!

  6. Wonderful ideas to keep a marriage fresh. It’s definitely hard work but so totally worth it. My husband and I celebreated 26 years married (and 3 years dating before that) last October. There are days it comes easily and days we have to work at it. The ideas you share are key!

    1. kellyrbaker says:

      Congrats on 26 years! Keep up the good work, Julie!

  7. The idea of entering his world by doing what he likes is huge in restoring a marriage. I heard of a wife who went hunting with her husband even she hated hunting. Their marriage was on the brink of divorce, but because she entered his world, their marriage was restored.
    I also love the idea of wearing something ‘special’ for when he comes home. My man works from home, so I have to tweak that a bit…and I have teenagers – haha!

    1. kellyrbaker says:

      Lol And that’s a wonderful story, Aimee!

  8. My husband loves when I join him in watching an NBA game with him. Thanks for these great tips!

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