Today Carol Strang is here to help you find freedom from insecurity. She shares the gut-wrenching reality of a life plagued with insecurity but offers 10 steps to help you break free from your insecurities. Read on for Day 5 in the What Freedom in Christ Looks Like Online Event by the Blogger Voices Network, hosted right here at KellyRBaker.com.
Carol Strang is a wife, mother and education assistant who resides in New Jersey. Carol has been ministering to women since 2016 and shares her testimony of self-discovery and healing from her long battle with insecurity. Her purpose and passion are for women to know their true identity in Christ, and be free from condemnation. Carol is an inspirational author, blogger, and speaker. She is devoted to the Lord and runs her own women’s podcast.
Everyone Needs to Feel Loved, Safe, and Secure.
All my life, up to the age of 55 I was very insecure; I was searching for acceptance, validation, and encouragement. The importance to be loved and belong is also recognized by the early childhood theorist Abraham Maslow. In his theory the Hierarchy of Needs, Maslow ranks third the need for an individual to be loved and to belong.
The Enemy Can Use People’s Words and Actions to Make Us Feel Insecure.
What type of parents did you have? Did you have parents who listened and encouraged you? Or were your parents strict, overprotective, controlling, and paranoid? I myself lived with the second type of parents. As a result, I was very insecure and passive for a long time. I lived in my sister’s shadow because she was a fighter and very independent.
What about your neighborhood friends and peers? What kind of relationship did you have with them? My relationship was one of humiliation, alienation, and ridicule. I even had a few teachers and Nuns that were mean and treated me unfairly. I needed freedom from insecurity!
If We Only Focus on The Negativity in Our Lives, We Will Shrink Back and Isolate Ourselves.
I was labeled shy, ugly, awkward, and considered myself as a black sheep or outcast. I hardly had any friends, and I didn’t have pretty and cool clothes. I didn’t date, go to parties or sports games. I rarely participated in any extracurricular activities.
Our emotional and mental well being can be at risk!
At age 16, I was dealing with a great deal of insecurity, anxiety and depression. I tried to commit suicide by ingesting an overdose of sleeping pills. God wasn’t through with me yet! My sister stopped me, and slapped the bottle from my hand!
If We Are Still Dealing with Insecurity, We Will Face Challenges as an Adult.
After high school, I went through a series of retail and office jobs. Unfortunately, my insecurity affected my job performance. Tasks were difficult to learn, the pace was too fast, or coworkers were difficult to work with.
When I was 28, I finally met my soulmate. Before then, I dated a lot of men from all kinds of outlets: Christian fellowship, bars, and classifieds. I met my husband, Carl, through a Christian single correspondence group, which was operated by a church in California. We married on September 22, 1990. Carl was one of the few men who accepted me for as I am.
Unhealthy Habits from Insecurity
In 2000, I had my beautiful daughter Christina; I loved being a mother. As soon as she entered Kindergarten, I had to go back to work. I ventured off and had tried several retail and office positions in the city of Raleigh, North Carolina. Unfortunately, in spite of the love from my husband and my daughter, I still had old wounds that needed healing. During my long battle with jobs, I also developed three unhealthy habits: perfectionism, performance anxiety, and comparison. I also went through several panic attacks and cried often.
I decided to enter college; I was excited about the future. Unfortunately, after I received my certificate, I had gone back and forth like a ping pong ball from educational to retail positions.
I was miserable and our finances we’re getting worse!
We finally were called back to New Jersey in 2009, and my husband received his disability benefits because he was declared legally blind. I would have to continue working for our family. I worked a couple childcare jobs and tutor positions. These didn’t last long, so to my regret I had to get a public job. Now, because of all my previous failures, I became stricken with overgeneralization. I would analyze job opportunities critically and most of the time not pursue them. Up till my graduation in 2015, I went through a series of unsuccessful jobs. My insecurity again had affected my work performance and my communication with managers and coworkers.
Use These 10 Steps to Find Freedom from Insecurity
Make a decision to change. Make a firm commitment to yourself. Form a partnership with God.
Pray, humble yourself, release all your burdens, worries, challenges, disappointments, past hurts, and failures to God.
Become a Believer and follower of Christ if you haven’t taken that step yet. Open the Bible daily, study, and meditate. Search for scriptures that refer to what God says about you. Learn the truth about your identity. Read scripture from the Book of Psalms.
Journal your thoughts and write down any key scripture verses that speak to you.
Surround yourself with people (family, friends, church members) who will give you support, prayers, and encouragement. Take a counseling course if it is available, or if you are led, make an appointment with a Christian counselor. You can also listen to women ministers and/or positive coaches through social media or podcasts. Read memoirs of women who overcame insecurity.
Speak daily affirmations backed by God’s Word over yourself. Decorate a room or certain areas in your home with biblical/scriptural inspirational prints or art pieces. You also can write scripture verses down in a spiral index card binder.
Worship God, listen to songs that touch your soul. Spend quiet moments with God and listen.
Forgive all those people who have hurt or humiliated you. If you struggle with this, ask God to help you. You also can read certain scripture passages on the topic of forgiveness.
Accept yourself! Be willing to step out of your comfort zone, with confidence, knowing God is with you and you have nothing to fear.
Repeat any and all steps as needed especially when you are faced with new challenges and or new people.
In closing, I’d like to share with you the revelation God revealed to me. My Heavenly Father told me he approved me and only his opinion matters, not my husband’s, parents, peers, or coworkers!
He led me to this scripture, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10 KJV) This revelation from God was key to my freedom from insecurity. I also learned that it was important to let the Truth penetrate my heart.Dealing with insecurity? @carolann_MOTH shares the gut-wrenching reality of a life plagued with self-doubt but offers 10 steps to help you break free. #FruitOfFreedom #BloggerVoicesNetwork
Free Gift for You
Receive a free copy of the first chapter of Carol’s e-book, After God’s Heart: How To Draw Closer To God in A Busy World. Do you feel frustrated, overworked, and over extended because of all the obligations, errands, appointments that fill your week? Be honest with yourself, how many minutes do you actually take time out of your day, to refresh and rejuvenate? And what about your spiritual life? Is your energy so depleted that you can barely read a five minute devotional or even say a quick prayer?
Author Carol Strang can relate to the challenges you are facing. She has written a book that provides practical ways to help you carve out time in your day, so you can spend precious minutes with God and meditate upon his Word. This book is a quick read and is organized in a step by step format. It’s Carol’s hope that as you follow the steps outlined in this book, you will deepen your relationship with your Heavenly Father.
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