How to Find Freedom from Overwhelming Grief

Do you need freedom from overwhelming grief? Maria Silver Pyanov can certainly relate. Read her encouraging words for Day 14 of the What Freedom in Christ Looks Like Online Event by the Blogger Voices Network, hosted right here at KellyRBaker.com.

Maria Silver Pyanov is mama to five living children, five little ones she never got to hold, and one special boy she held for almost two months. She’s a birth, parenting and faith writer who hopes her writing can now be used to support fellow bereaved parents. She’s determined to end stigmas related to female reproductive health, loss and fertility difficulties.

The human experience holds death, sorrow, and loss because we live in a fallen and broken world. There are circumstances, like losing a child, which can lead to overwhelming grief. Yet through Christ we can find freedom from overwhelming grief.

As someone who has experienced the loss of an infant, as well as several pregnancies losses, I know the feeling of overwhelming grief. The sort of grief which shakes you to your core leaving you wondering how you will ever go on. 

How can one lose a child and face the reality that they must live on? We were not designed for death; our fallen world brings it. Even in our fallen world, the loss of a child is out of order. We expect to bury our parents. We expect our children to bury us. But to bury a child, it’s untimely; it’s completely out of order. 

How can one gain freedom from overwhelming grief after facing one of life’s worst tragedies? How can one live and still hold onto their faith after saying goodbye to an innocent child?

We Do Not Mourn As Those Without Hope

In the moments after finding out the sweet boy we loved as our own had passed away, a pastor and dear friend spoke truth to us. Through pain, he said, “I know you know this, but I’m going to remind you, God didn’t do this.”

An instant reminder of truth, this was a symptom of our fallen world. We were not being punished. We were not let down or deserted by God. We were simply experiencing the gut-wrenching reality of a fallen world.

The same pastor spoke at the memorial service and so clearly said, “We mourn, we really do mourn, but not as those who have no hope.”

Through Christ we have hope. We are reminded of this hope in 1 Timothy 4:13 (NKJV), “But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.”

We will have sorrow. You cannot survive the death of a loved one without sorrow. However, you do not need to sorrow as if you have no hope. 

When life feels impossible and grief is overwhelming, we can stand firm in His truths, we do not need to sorrow as if there is no hope. Christ has given us eternal hope. He has given us the hope of amazing eternal reunions. 

Finding Freedom from Overwhelming Grief Through Truth

I’m not going to sugar coat loss and say finding freedom from overwhelming grief was easy. Nor can I say that grief is something which you get passed or something which goes away. Grief is another form of love, and thus it will last.

However, grief does not have to be overwhelming forever. It does not have to be all-consuming and filling your life with sorrow forever. 

Grief can become a reminder to love harder. It can be a reminder of the sacrifice Jesus gave so that even though we experience sorrow, we do not experience it as those who have no hope. 

I found freedom from my overwhelming grief by focusing on truth. By staying in scripture and listening to others speaking truth, I made sure truth spoke louder than my grief. 

Freedom was found in resting in His promises. I knew there were no earthly answers to satisfy my “whys”, so I focused on the truth that He provides peace which passes all understanding. When I could not understand the depth of grief, I simply relied on this truth:

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippian 4:7 NKJV

There are no answers for child death beyond living in a fallen world. There are no answers which can bring peace. However, God promises us peace which passes all understanding when we seek Him. I am not at peace with losing a child. However, I am at peace with knowing that His ways are not my ways. I am at peace knowing that this fallen earth allowed my foster son to die, but Christ has overcome death. I am at peace knowing a sweet reunion is to come. 

I am at peace when I read through Job, a reminder that there is so much we do not see, we do not know and that there are promises which will truly be fulfilled. 

Finding Freedom When It’s Impossible To Seek 

Our God is a living God. He is a God of emotions and love. As I said, I won’t sugar coat loss and grief. There were real moments I wished I wouldn’t wake up the next morning. I wished it was all a nightmare or that God would perform an impossible miracle to turn back time. 

However, to serve the living God is to serve the God who seeks you. When you are too broken, too hurt, too scared to seek Him, He will seek you. 

Sometimes He seeks during quiet moments, stirring up the truths of scripture written on our hearts. Sometimes He seeks through others via a card, text or phone call. Often, He seeks through fellow believers being the hands and feet, a tangible reminder of His love. 

On the days I felt I couldn’t go on, a perfectly timed text would come, a meal would be dropped off, or I would suddenly feel peace which passed my understanding. 

I cannot tell you finding freedom from overwhelming grief is easy or that it will come quickly. However, I can tell you that through Christ, there truly is freedom from overwhelming grief. 

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