BVN Member Interview: Meet Beth Steffaniak
It’s a delight to share an interview of Blogger Voices Network member Beth Steffaniak from messymarriage.com! Beth is a veteran blogger with a unique history. Read on and be encouraged.

Meet Beth Steffaniak
Please start by telling us a little about yourself.
I’m a Christ-follower—have been since I was about six years old. My dad was a pastor, so I always heard the gospel day-in-and-day-out being spoken and modeled by all of my family. In fact, it was my big sister’s influence that drew me the most to Jesus. Her example has been the catalyst and inspiration in my own life to do the same—point others to Christ.
I’ve been married for 31 years to my husband Gary, who also happens to be a pastor. We’ve raised and now launched three sons out of our “nest.” My oldest son and his beautiful wife are expecting their first—my first grandbaby—this October. So I can’t wait to meet my long-anticipated grandson!
List approximately three favorites.
- I love traveling.
- Photography has to be up there with traveling—taking lots of pics wherever we get to roam.
- My absolute favorite thing to do is to sit and chat with friends over coffee!
List one unique fact about you.
I did the whole Ancestry.com thing—researching my side of the family tree. And when I was done, I researched my hubby’s side. One name stood out—sounded familiar—Moses White. So I looked back at my tree and saw that Moses’ name was there as well. I checked the dates and spouse it was the same dude! Yep, my hubby and I are distant relatives—going back to the early 1700’s.
Beth Steffaniak’s Blog
Tell us about your blog/ministry?
I’ve been blogging for nine years now with eight of them being at messymarriage.com. That’s where you’ll find lots of true stories from my marriage, as well as how God’s word has shaped and fueled my view and commitment in marriage.
It all began with feeling like God was calling me to speak into the messy parts of marriage—not an easy calling by any means! The vision behind my blog is to not only be real and raw about these messy parts of marriage, but to also share about God’s redemption done in and through those messes. God has used the challenges in my life and marriage to not only draw me closer to my hubby, but to draw me closer to Him as well. So I wouldn’t dare rewrite my marriage history without including those messes, because God has used them to refine and define me! My desire is that this perspective gives my readers hope in the messiness of marriage and life as well.
Have you created a special gift for subscribers or written a book?
I offer upwards of 35 marriage- and spiritual-related resources in a subscriber library, as well as my free ebook, Forgive U. You can sign up for all of this at messymarriage.com.
Steffaniak’s Spiritual Growth

What is your most favorite verse/passage and why?
One that stands out is …
For your husband is your Maker, Whose name is the LORD of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth. For the LORD has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,” Says your God. Isaiah 54:5-6 NASB
This reminds me that whenever my earthly husband fails me, I can trust that I am still loved unconditionally by my true Husband, who also just happens to be my God! The truth of this passage has gotten me through many a messy moment in marriage!
'…whenever my earthly husband fails me, I can trust that I am still loved unconditionally by my true Husband, who also just happens to be my God!'Wisdom from Beth Steffaniak
How do you keep your Daily Time with God regular?
I discovered over the years that this is one of the most important things I can do in life, in particular for my marriage. So I’ve learned to make it my number one priority each day.
I started out finding and setting a consistent time in my day in a spot that’s quiet and conducive to time alone with God. Then I make a habit of never beating myself up for missing that time. That’s key! I also pair my time with my morning coffee, as well as good instrumental music to help get and keep me in the mood.
Any other words of wisdom you’d like to share?
Rather than focusing on being successful as a blogger—stay faithful to an audience of One! That, in and of itself, is success in my humble opinion!
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“Stay faithful to an audience of one”. Good point to keep in mind always. Thanks for sharing, Beth. Blessings to you.
Yes, it’s what has gotten me through many a low moment, Boma! I bet you feel the same way. Thanks for your encouragement, my friend!
Beth is one of my most trusted voices on the web when it comes to marriage issues.
I loved the story about Moses the distant relative! What a hoot!
Agreed, Michele!
Awww, Michele! You are too sweet! And yes, isn’t that something?! Who knew that an examination of my ancestors would reveal such a surprising twist?! Thanks for your kind words, my friend!
Wow! So fun to learn a little more about you, Beth! You and I both have an affinity for messes! 😉 Thanks for sharing your story!
Yes, we do, Liz! I’m happy to share and grateful to Kelly for the opportunity! Thanks for coming by, my friend!
Hi Beth!! Loved getting to read more about you! Lovely family you have! 🙂
Thank you, Rachel! They are a wonderful brood that I’m so happy to call my own. Hugs to you, my friend!
That story of your history is too funny! Your ministry is a blessing to me and so many others. Keep at it! Love you friend and so honored to be sharing your interview! 🙂
I thought that might be the one thing people are surprised by in my interview, Kelly. It sure surprised me when I discovered it! Thank you so much for extending this offer and invitation. It’s been my pleasure to share my story. Hugs to you, girlfriend!
Came over to catch up with Beth. Loved the story of discovering a common ancestor. How fun!
Hey, Debbie! So glad to see your beautiful face here in the comments! Isn’t that crazy? I would have never thought that I’d end up being related (distantly) to my hubby! Thanks for coming by and saying hi!
I’m excited to learn more about Beth. I have been getting wisdom and encouragement from her blog messymarriage.com for several years. My heart connected with the honesty of the title and that is what drew me in.
I’m so glad to hear it, Elaine! And that’s what I was hoping would be the case for my readers–drawing them in and not repelling them. I know there are some who want to pretend that only unhealthy or ungodly people have messes in their marriages, but that, I believe, is a mindset that will send them more toward a messy marriage than away from it! If you know what I mean! 😉 Thank you for your encouragement to me, my friend!
Beth, I am so impressed by your willingness to be vulnerable, open and transparent about your marriage. It is inspiring because it is a witness to the truth about all relationships, inclusive of marriage. Because we are human, and sinful, every relationship we enter into will have strife and conflict. So the key is not to pretend the problems and trials don’t exist, but rather to admit them, face them head on, and seek to resolve them. This in fact, not the absence of problems or conflict, is what ends up making a marriage and any relationship healthy. Your blog allows people to share, say “me too” and learn through your story. So nice to meet you today in this interview and look forward to continuing to get to know you!
so funny about Moses! you are a blessing to so many – congrats on the grandchild!
Yeah, who knew Moses would be a unifying figure in me and my husband’s marriage?! Lol! Thanks for your encouragement, Sue! I appreciate it and you!
Very nice interview! Beth’s blog ministry has been important to me ever since I read her Shame on You? post. I find her writing thought-provoking and challenging — her honesty means she can be incisive without being preachy — and grounded in the love of God and knowledge of Scripture — so the challenges always resolve into insight and spiritual growth.
Thank you for your kind words and the encouragement you’ve given me over the years, David. I hope that it is as you say–truthful, challenging but always grounded in God’s love. After all, that’s what has moved me to share my stories–God’s love for me in spite of my messes, which has given me a greater love and compassion for others in their messes. It’s always so great to see how far God has brought you in your life from those first conversations we had on Twitter and my blog. Keep looking to Him!
I’m a bit late with my message here, but I have to respond to you, Beth. I’ve been so impressed with the honest transparency of your blogs. The name Moses that you and your husband have together is so indicative of what you both are bringing to our WORLD. You are being many out of bondage. Not a little thing!!! God bless you. I’m so proud of you and this BVNetwork of God’s Esthers.
Thank you so much, Ann! I really appreciate your kind words and hope that is true! It’s my aim anyway. Thanks again for encouraging me, my friend!