I close my eyes tightly, exhale a sigh, and try not to let one of the tears watering my eyes slip down my cheek for the thirtieth time today. I’m fighting off a hopelessness that has been trying to invade my thinking. I open my eyes; the tears win.
Where are You, God?
Hopelessness is godlessness. I remembered the phrase I learned years ago that I thought would never seep into my soul.
I let the tears fall freely now. They release some of the mounting pressure in my heart. The tissue box seems more of a steady companion than His promises of late.
Why do I forget? Why do I almost begin to think that He has abandoned me? “I will never leave you or forsake you.” Help me believe, Lord.
I reach for the Words of Life, turning the worn pages between my fingers: I’m looking for hope. I need to be rescued from my own despair, from my own tangled thoughts of hopelessness that I’ve entertained. My eyes fall on a promise I’d forgotten:
He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him. John 14:21NKJ
I focused on the last precious phrase, which was previously underlined: “…and will manifest myself to him.”
I do love You, Father. You said those who love You, You will also love. I keep Your commands. You promised to manifest Yourself to me.
If it’s Your promise, then why do You seem absent during all the trouble, problems and bad news that are my current lot in life?
He talks to me about…faith.
In reality, I’ve been wrapped in a blanket of discouragement, and it’s because I haven’t been walking in faith. “Now faith…is the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) I haven’t been seeing answers―yet. I have to pick myself up from sitting on the bench facing Hopeless Valley, make an about face, and talk faith. It’s time to live faith.
So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17
After making the decision to think, talk, and live faith, I feel different.
The corners of my mouth are up.
Join the conversation. What helps you come out of a feeling of hopelessness?
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Image via Creative Commons: Philippe Put