What is the Biblical way to see a positive difference in your husband? Yes, it can be done without constant, gentle reminders of scriptural truths, or Bible beating. Check this passage out:
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 1 Peter 3:1-4.
I have invested a great deal of time in seeking out the key to these verses. I believe that a woman should not let herself go after getting married (1 Corinthians 7:34), but natural beauty is not the only thing that draws a man to a woman. The word conversation in these verses means behavior. Verse four has always gotten my attention, but I think that being meek and quiet is just a starting place. The things hidden in my heart are only seen by God, so I really think that this means that I am to focus on change in myself instead of changing my husband. When he sees transformation in me (my behavior), then his respect of me grows. He desires to please me, then, and also change where needed. In the argument from Part 1, he may have been wrong with some things, but that is not where my focus needed to be.
What do you do, then, then you are tired of waiting around for him to change? Turn your focus in two ways:
- focus on the good things in him
- focus on what needs to be changed in yourself
Be careful what you say about your husband. Do you really want him to change and at the same time paint a bad reputation about him? If you are receiving marital counseling, then you should be honest during the sessions, but speak with wisdom about him around friends and family. I’m not telling you to lie in an abusive relationship, but it’s really not necessary to share with your friends about your frustrations of him leaving his dirty clothes on the floor just feet away from the hamper. If you tell your husband you love him in the morning before he leaves for work, and then complain to your best-friend-forever about him in the afternoon then you really need to make some adjustments about what you say concerning your husband (James 3:10-11). Instead, call those things be not as though they were in prayer for him. Find scriptures that would line up with what you want to see changed in him, and speak them over him through prayer.
What else does the Bible say about the wife’s role to her husband? God has given the wife some directions and wisdom concerning this delicate relationship. Look at each of these as if they were ingredients to your favorite dessert. If you were missing some or even one of the ingredients then your special treat might not taste so special!
A Wife’s Role to Her Husband
Ephesians 5:33…reverence him
Colossians 3:18…be submissive
Titus 2:5…obey him
1 Peter 3:1…be in subjection to him
Genesis 2:18…be his help meet
Titus 2:4…love him
1 Corinthians 7:34…please him
Proverbs 31:12…do him good
Exodus 20:14…be faithful always
Look a that list again. Are you consistently doing them all?
The next time an argument blazes across your relationship, stop, drop and roll. Stop arguing, drop your bad attitude, and roll your focus to where it needs to be.