Recently, my son’s cornea was scratched, compliments of his brother. His threshold for pain is basically nil and we were constantly reminded of it by his continual crying…for 30 hours. The doctor had told us to remove the patch he had taped to his eye and administer the prescribed ointment around dinnertime on that memorable night. Since my six-year-old had been such a weakling to this whole fiasco we decided to detain the dreaded removal until the next morning. Only our plans were changed at one in the morning when nobody was getting any sleep for the second night in a row from the child’s wailing.
My husband and I decided that the best thing to do was to go ahead and remove the patch right then. My boy is a stomach sleeper and we reasoned that the patch was most likely putting too much pressure on his eye at night. Justin soothingly explained to our son what was about to happen while I set up the eye-patch-removal-area in the kitchen via nightlight since light sensitivity was also an issue with our poor little patient.
The state of everyone’s nerves were basically shot at this point, which didn’t help any, and now in the middle of the night we were about to embark on a procedure which made us feel like merciless bullies on an injured victim. I guess the doctor wanted to make sure the make-shift patch would stay on because he put three long strands of medical tape over it. That was not too much of a problem; it was only stuck like crazy glue to his face and in his hair.
Now by this time my husband and I had already been snapping at each other, the sleepless grumpy heads that we were, and we got into an argument. … I mean “a moment of intense fellowship.” The conflict was how to best remove the medical tape from his hair. At one point I remember Justin saying, “Do you want me to make a decision? Okay, I’ll make a decision,” but when he told me his decision I remember thinking, You are wrong!
Right about then I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit. I was wrong. Not because my method was wrong, that is trivial, but because my attitude toward my husband was wrong. Submission is not just an action, it’s primarily an attitude. If Jesus had been standing there I don’t think I would have responded the same way! You may be thinking, but my husband does not act like Jesus!
Wives, your husband probably does need to change in some areas. And you may be right about those things you’ve been arguing about or wanting him to fix. Yet you cannot be his Holy Spirit. Nagging is not a good thing and does not equal the voice of God to him! Neither is arguing your point of view.
A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Proverbs 27:15
What is the Biblical way to see a positive difference in your husband? We’ll talk about that on Monday in Part 2. These principles can be applied to any relationship with someone who is in authority over you.