Words can’t describe the moments I experienced with the Father tonight. He stripped me of all impure motives. A deceitful heart, desperately wicked. He knew it.
Oh, God! How could I have let it get this way??
He restores my soul! His rod and now His staff. It does comfort me. He restores my soul.
9:47 pm. It’s late; I need to go to bed. More, Lord! I need a breakthrough.
OH HOW HE LOVES US…
10:22 pm. My heart did turn violently inside of my chest. My muscles inside were hurting. I was crying so hard and flexing my muscles so tightly as if it would help Him know how deeply I wanted Him.
“You gotta lose your composure,” was echoing in my ears. My memory serves me well. I was a young teenager and a new, stiff worship leader. God would begin to move in the service during the worship and some others were relaxed enough to have real emotion overcome them while standing in the midst of the congregation. I was afraid. Afraid someone would see a tear fall down my face, or even a steady stream and my nose became red. I worried that I wouldn’t look perfect if I wasn’t standing just so or if my makeup wasn’t right. I didn’t want to get caught up with His presence and “forget about myself, concentrate on Him and worship Him.”
One day my mom shared life-giving words to me. They were life-giving because I received them and was teachable at that moment.
“The Lord wants you to let go of your composure and stiffness. Give everything you’ve got when you’re singing. Put everything into the song and let others see that. If God wants you to cry, the let Him do that with you. Others will be blessed when you let go. You have the anointing, the training, the voice; you have all the ingredients except you are not taking your calling by force.”
10:26 pm. Can I lose my composure now with only the inanimate objects of the room for company?
OH HOW HE LOVES US… He was here!
10:34 pm. Tears…but for different reasons. Breakthrough!
10:49 pm. I had my breakthrough, I was receiving His love, being restored.
11:01 pm. Really late now. I don’t care! This is the God I fell in love with and I don’t wanna stop!
OH HOW HE LOVES US…
Friends, can we lose our composure in our times with Him? In a room alone? In front of family? At church with others watching?Photo © justindbaker. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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