[This post has been included in the Experiencing Remarkable Worship devotional series.]
Recently, I had a worship song playing as I was winding down for the night. After I washed my face I dropped to my knees right there in my bathroom, the slow tears trickling down my cheek. It’s easy at times for me to go to that place of abandon. Other times I’m a brick wall.
A specific facet in my relationship with the Lord, the times of worship, have been a journey of various peaks and valleys, ebbs and flows.
Why are our times of worship different? Why isn’t our experience with God the same?
Because He is real. We have a relationship. If our experiences with Him never change, perhaps it’s because we have a form of godliness? God is the same (Hebrews 13:8), and we are the ones learning…growing…changing.
How could these moments of worship be described? I was pondering the variables the other day. Have you ever analyzed your seasons of worship with God?
May I openly share mine, friends? Then it’s your turn.
Seasons of Personal Worship
Years ago, when my heart was not after God, I was uncomfortably convicted…the result of living in willful sin, unrepentant.
Then, my pursuit changed; I was after Him. My worship was mostly tears. I became the one who has been forgiven of much and, consequently, loved much.
His presence became a sweetness.
After a long season, His presence vanished. I remained in the dry wilderness, a parched soul. A desire to be purged was birthed. Repentance was my song, then gratefulness.
Renewal. Vision. RIVER!
Others came and muddied up the river. They sliced at my heart, and in my hurt, I put walls up between me and my Creator. Surrounded by drought, I became aloof to Him…then complacency set in, and I eventually became disinterested.
I envied the free, and saw my need. Hungry for change, for breakthrough. Driven by determination to not settle into such a place again, my passion for Him helped me cry out to my Savior. He answered with healing.
He poured out His love, in response to my crying heart…an exchange that brought forth healing.
Again, His presence was the honey dripping from the comb. Oh, the desired sweetness!
Analyze your current season
I think it’s healthy to reflect on the type of exchange we are having with God from time to time. The insight is useful to determine what season we are in, and what roadblocks stand in our way. It also helps us see God responding to us in a very real way.
Answer the following questions in your journal:
- How would you describe your experience with your times of worship right now?
- Is anything holding you back? What do you think it is?
- How do you currently view God?
- How would you envision the way God is responding to you?
- fear (What if God reads my mail or tells me to go to China?)
- appetite level (How many days of the week are we setting aside to be before Him?)
- perceived rejection from God (Often stemmed from hurt from another)
- willful sin (Obvious sin you refuse to repent from)
- form of godliness (Going through the motions with no changes)
The Lord is usually waiting on us. He is ready to pour out His love, forgiveness, and refreshing. In our times of worship, we can love Him in return.
What is your season of worship currently like? Do you want it to change?
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