Telling on Myself

The time spent with the Lord during the fast from my blog (which ended up being for three weeks) looked nothing like what I envisioned. I analyzed the apathy that had surfaced during some of the days I spent with the Lord, and realized that I was disappointed because my expectations of our time together weren’t being fulfilled. I felt like I hadn’t received any great, new revelation from my Shepherd.

What do you think of when a sheep herd comes to mind? I usually picture something like this:sheeps

The sheep look so content. I don’t usually picture the shepherd actually having to use his staff to get the sheep to do what they need to do.

What I experienced during this fast were times of testing, corrections and rebukes. After the first week, I was wondering where the times of  “laying down in green pastures” and being “led beside still waters” went!

Adjustments

I’ve always heard that sheep are dumb. I’m not dumb. No…well…maybe a little bit…okay, I was dumb. Let me tell you, I looked back at all the adjustments God had me make during the three weeks, and I’ve been dumb! My Shepherd needed to use His rod and staff. He was restoring my soul in three specific areas (that I won’t go into here), and I learned that restoration can begin with God’s chastisement and the need to repent. Yes, a dose of humble medicine, my dears.

A test of obedience

In addition to the blog fast, He had me draw back from social media somewhat. I sensed that He was having me put obedience into practice. Sometimes I started to spend time on Twitter or Facebook, but I sensed Him saying no. At one point He had me go on a total social media fast for three days inside the three week blog fast. He was testing me with the keys of obedience.

An attitude test

I was also tested a few times to see how I was going to respond to various situations. Initially, I wanted to go hide, cry, and throw a pity party, but I was expected to be present and couldn’t leave the room. It was at those moments that my memory clicked, I’ve been here before, I know how to respond in a way that will please the Lord, and I made a decision to have the right attitude.

Was it easy? No. Was it fun? Um…no. But I have made Him my Lord, not just my Savior, and that means He is the One who is in authority over what He’s making me. That makes it worth it!

His rod and His staff comforted me (Psalm 23:4), because I know that He is near me. True love says what is best for you, not just what you want to hear. Even if it sounds strange, I welcome His chastening because it means I’m His (Hebrews 12:5-11).

So…anyone ready to go on a fast? 😉

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Image via Creative Commons: DaveCrosby 

10 thoughts on “Telling on Myself

  1. Actually yesterday the Lord reminded me He told me a few weeks ago, DISCONNECT FROM THE INTERNET. Those are the key words that stuck out to me. So this is a confirmation that I must listen and obey. Wow, how stubborn can I be. Forgive me Lord.

  2. That is wonderful Kelly. It takes discipline and surrender to do what you did. I recently fasted for 40 days from social networking and it was one of the best things I had ever done. I agreed with you when you said it wasn’t fun. I was addicted to knowing what other people thought of me and my ministry. I was also addicted to being in the know with the news, my friends, and the topics I found interesting. I would retreat to these things first instead of retreating to God. It still is hard sometimes, because I get sucked in to being on the internet, but I run back to God much faster now to become centered again. Thank you for being open and honest with your journey. Many blessings to you as you grow closer to the Lord.

  3. Pingback: Called To…

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