What Not to Do When You Are Praying about a Relationship

[This is a bonus post of the Hearing God’s Voice series.]

yesThe young lady couldn’t get him out of her head. He still worked at her old job with some of her other friends. The Holy Spirit was dealing with her not to pick up the phone. Ignoring Him, she called one of her friends that still worked there, “Can I pick you up from work today like I used to so I can see him?” “I guess. I’ll call my normal ride,” she replied.

For the entire drive there the Holy Spirit was dealing with her not to go inside. But she talked herself out of believing that the Lord didn’t want her to pursue the relationship. She went inside to get her friend instead of waiting for her to come out to the car. She rounded the corner and when he saw her he jumped up in the air with excitement. “What is it? You haven’t ever given me that kind of greeting before,” she laughed. He couldn’t stop smiling, “I prayed and told God to show me if I was supposed to marry you. I said if you came back here this month then He was saying yes, but if you didn’t show then it was no. I’m so happy!”

But she wasn’t happy. “Why didn’t I obey You?”

The moral of the story is that using a fleece is not always a good idea when it concerns relationships. He didn’t get the girl and his life went downhill for a long time after that. That’s as much as I know before I lost touch with them.

Using a fleece may be doable sometimes, but wisdom seems to cry that it’s not God’s best. In the case of Gideon’s example in my previous post there was no pending relationship. It was completely between him and God and some inanimate objects. I think that I would be more inclined to discern God’s voice concerning a relationship and look for confirmations instead of using a fleece.

3 Types of Testing

  1. We should test the spirit when we hear a voice (1 John 4:1).
  2. We should prove God, in the sense of standing in faith (Malachi 3:10).
  3. We should not tempt God (Matthew 4:7) which means “to put to proof God’s character and power.” I would think this means in the sense of manipulating God.

God desires for us to walk by faith, not by sight. He is more concerned with teaching us to trust Him and actually use our faith, then He is with us remaining fearful or being spiritually lazy.

What do you think? Are there times when using a fleece might be more appropriate than others? Are there other instances of using a fleece in the Bible?

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Photo credit: Joe Shlabotnik Creative Commons

4 thoughts on “What Not to Do When You Are Praying about a Relationship

  1. ha! what a story!

    On relationships, i wouldn’t even touch that. We tend to get too far into the forest to see what is really going on from a Godly perspective.

    But fleecing makes biblical sense. When i believe the Lord has revealed something, but am not really sure, i ask God for confirmations. It floors me how often i will be in prayer and then someone at church speaks to me prophetically about that same exact issue.

  2. I don’t ask for signs that often, but in my one and only relationship – with the man who I am now married to, I did actually use them. I tend to only use them for things that I really don’t know about, and could be really important, and I really want to know about! I prayed twice for a sign that this man was the right guy for me, because otherwise I didn’t want to waste time thinking about him, and both times I prayed for something that really seemed very unlikely, but still possible. And they happened. But even after that I still spent a lot of time in prayer when it came nearer to getting engaged, to make sure that he was still the right one.

    I know it is a controversial issue as some people are completely against it! I just try to be careful, and not do it that often, and if I do then be careful not to ask for something that is very probable to happen anyway, and not blindly go with it unless I’m really sure it’s God.

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